I'm just totally desperate and on the ground. I have today made two positive pregnancy tests after I ьberfдllig for almost two weeks. Actually, I can not say because I have my days relatively unregelmдЯig it. Tomorrow I go to the FA and let me again bestдtigen accurate. Nevertheless, the fact is, I'm pregnant at 99% and the child is more than unintentionally.
Natьrlich I wanted someday a child, but not under these conditions:
Father of the child is more or less a bed story that also lдuft only since few weeks. We have now indeed met regelmдЯig, but never really talked informed about us. Before few weeks it came to a small condom mishap. Having all four, then again every 5 and then have my days once every 6 weeks, I thought not much here to me ... Until a few days ago ... He did not weiЯ, I'm afraid of his Reaction. AuЯerdem we have not seen each other.
I have to admit I'm in love with him. he will not be impressed by a child. First, because he already has one (but no longer in a relationship with the mother - he is single) and secondly because he has ever been so calm a ДuЯerung of himself, nerves wьrden children ... so I weiЯ almost certain that he will make definitely out of the dust ...
Although my situation is not wдre the worst closed for a child: I have a job in another place (40 km), which is however not very well paid. Right now I wanted something new nдmlich looking ... My mother wьrde me certainly untersьtzten and certainly some friends.
My fear is the responsibility taken as a single parent on me that Verдnderung. Although I'm already late 20s, but fьhle me absolutely not ready closed for a child. Already alone because I have no right man to do so. I had in my life so far really only disasters Mдnner, only one "right one" Relationship since I was 20, which held about 2 years. All other Mдnner were really only handles in the toilet! And I have now natьrlich also afraid to stay alone forever. With child Dating dьrfte probably still be a lot more difficult than without child.
That said, I hдtte other Plдne had in life nдchsten years.
I still hope that both tests were possibly wrong, but I think I'm making myself well what is before ...
About an abortion I have been thinking, in fact, weiЯ but not if I bring the ьbers heart or eventually regret ...
As you can see, I am quite confused. Maybe someone can give some suggestions and tips to me ... But please do not Vorwьrfe
It is good that you go to the FA tomorrow, so you get a clear result and erfдhrst matter how much time you have left to make a decision if you should be tatsдchlich pregnant. Speculate brings nothing to you.
Closed for you, it is then important than View next that you yourself imagining an opinion, what you really want.
The Gesprдch with the young man not spared you, maybe he ьberrascht you even. He did not wдre the first man who дndert his mind, sometimes just the right time has come. If he sticks to his opinion and disappears, it is still mцglich that you meet with the child the right man. Other Mдnner wьnschen to children. Since everything is mцglich.
There are so many ifs and buts, informed about which it is worth to talk only when you weiЯt the result. I person you are seeking you closed for tomorrow much Glьck!
Love Magnoona, how are you? Were you at the doctor?
All your thoughts I can understand 100%, all Дngste, absolutely everything.
When I leave your post I fьhlte me thrown Go Back to 10 years.
I was in a very дhnlichen situation: unplanned pregnancy of a bed story.
but was not in love with the man. He has not seen his son until today (but he knows of it).
Ultimately, you need to sort yourself and organize your thoughts.
For me it was so (my persцnliche opinion and history, not ьbertragbar but maybe it helps you):
I was 33 and was unplanned pregnant, live far away from my family, but I have a good network set up. Had and have relatively well-paid and secure Jobb.
- I'm financially clear
- I help in my area
- can I continue working as is the care situation
Generally, I always had a desire to have children.
The argument can be found no more man with a child, I find very lean.
A friend of mine at that time came with exactly this argument: I just said to my heart man who truly loves me will take me with child (hцrt perhaps naively) .... so it proved.
I always had a desire to have children and therefore an abort is very difficult and you might find bereuuen him if you really sit there in 10 years alone. Who knows because even if you can find a partner and everything is as you imagine that?
Now 10 years spдter: I have a great boy, a partner of unterstьtzt me still working with enthusiasm in my Jobb.
Natьrlich my life has been different than originally intended. And it was not always all Super Great and simple. Actually, I always wanted many children. This then but everything no longer worked because my current partner is much дlter and no more children wanted.
I just mцchte you encourage. Hцr in yourself pure.
I have about 1 week Hцlle lived through with doubts and 1000 thoughts.
And plцtzlich, I lay on the sofa, the answer was clear and from the gut: YES
And from there we went me better and I began to organize.
I was at the FA. I'm definitely pregnant. In the 6th week. He has informed me informed about abortion today, I have already talked to many people. From my mom I get definitely 'Support, even from my aunt and some friends.
Tomorrow at noon I have a Beratungsgesprдch in Donum Vitae. First, in general. But when I saw the little heart beat today, I was a little different ...
Natьrlich I always wanted children, but not under these conditions.
How to do it financially? Even if I stay one year at home: the present job I can then bend. Poorly paid, 40 km one way route, if only the fuel costs wьrden probably closed for a anfдnglichen part-time job does not pay off. Only: what employer provides me with a toddler? Although I hдtte a good education ...
It still go so much to me questions through the head, so many Дngste. Most afraid I still have before the reaction of the child father ...
Love Magnoona, I can not recommend anything, I have no experience with your situation you, unfortunately. I'm just me, faceless did you, from a distance
I would like you also ascribe courage, but from my keyboard does not affect the safe particularly encouraging (because no real experience). I find it very good that you is possible to advise you. To my knowledge, these bodies should evaluate and discuss not only the issue of abortion, but otherwise inform you, for example, which support you - financially or advisory - each is entitled and how you can take care of it.
I can very well understand that you the question about the professional future and therefore for financial security pushes off the heart. Basically, I believe that for such questions always possible to find solutions. But there are articles like the helpful by Azure as my speculation.
I wish you a heartfelt good Beratungsgespraech, one in which informed and is not steered. Your contributions read as though you're quite well able to make an independent decision, but there's this huge mountain of information, concerns and scenarios that will be sorted. Here, I wish you good, unbiased support !!
I wish you not a decision that is possible doubt never. (That is, wish I would it to you already, but in this case I do not think there is.) But I wish you a decision to which you can back to look again and say: Yes, back then it was really for me.
I want to also give my two cents short and to have said,
I can never understand wanting to have a healthy child abortion.
Financially, everyone gets here in our welfare state towards [edited]
There are single Mьtter genьgend - it is not easy; it is a challenge.
Remember Magnooma, you'd like Flaubert wrote in 10 years kцnnen say that I have done right!
Quote by MagnoonaNatьrlich I always wanted children, but not under these conditions.
So this: mei, that's just life as it heiЯt so schцn: that happens wдhrend we do Plдne.
What I mean to say: try yourself time to lцsen by the idea of the ideal life - I know no one to whom they succeeded. I think you're doing more easily if you look at it just as it comes.
You have several options - but none can do this pregnancy undone.
but Ьberleg times as many people groЯziehen their children alone and do it anyway - why you should not kцnnen that?
I have three children groЯgezogen alone, that was not all degree my life plan that you can imagine - but it was just so and then you wurschtelt is just simply somehow. This is now my idea of what life heiЯt.
Quote by Karla_1963Remember Magnooma, you'd like Flaubert wrote in 10 years kцnnen say that I have done right!
KarlaKarla, please do not be evil, but only because I was quoted here, I want me a little bit of distance your post. Not because I would find it bad, only because I see it a bit differently: I would like to advise or influence the TE in any direction!
Both an abortion and as a single parent can they say rueckblickend: "Yes, then I have under mean Requirements, mean Circumstances in accordance with the right decision." Or.: "I can understand my decision still and does not have to take to the head, which I then thought to myself merely me." If it must be so!
I think this is the desirable goal.
Quote by Karla_1963There are single Mьtter genьgend - it is not easy; it is a challenge.
What's even slightly? I think you can not live where one goes every challenge out of the way. This is always a chance to develop.
Quote by flatBoth an abortion and as a single parent can they say rueckblickend: "Yes, then I have under mean Requirements, mean Circumstances in accordance with the right decision." Or.: "I can understand my decision still and does not have to take to the head, which I then thought to myself merely me." If it must be so!
I think this is the desirable goal.Yes, I see that way. Only I believe that you can not make a rational decision, one must wдhlen the way of better anfьhlt be closed for one. Even if information is already important.